I’ve been doing a lot of self-awareness work recently. Trying to figure out how accurate my read is of my capabilities, my skills, my goals, my leadership, and my followership, and more.

TL;DR Personal post about self awareness work and how I’m trying to minimize the mindset-reality gap in my relationships. Been seeking and accepting feedback and learning where I’m not presenting as I think I am. Conclusion – I’ve still got work to do (not surprising).

Cartoon version of Dr D in his office.

And now back to the regularly scheduled program of self-learning…

I’ve learned a lot through this process. Perhaps most importantly – how I’m presenting my values to the world around me.

Trying to learn about my mindset-reality gap (how I see myself versus how others experience me) isn’t easy. It means being open to critique, criticism, and feedback.

Since I don’t work with a team at the moment, my main feedback loops have been from my family and friends.

And I’ve learned a lot about where I need to shore up my perception of self and where other people – especially my wife and kids – see me in terms of how I bring myself to my relationships.

I’ve learned about how others perceive and experience the way I help, the tasks I take on, how I delegate, how I support each of them and give them space to lead, and more.

I’ve learned where I am and am not presenting the values I want to show to my kids, my family, my friends, and more.

And the feedback I get from family is different than the feedback from friends or colleagues.

On the one hand, it can be much more “real”. Sometimes it hurts more because it comes from people I care about and love.

And being open to taking feedback from people who aren’t skilled in how to give it (kids will be kids and they don’t pull their punches) means hearing harsh truths that I sometimes don’t want to hear.

But it makes the work all the more worthwhile. And the need to engage in radical listening all the more important.

Because I want to be the best parent and spouse I can.

What is the connection to my work? It may be relevant for a good tangent tale as part of a presentation or workshop. But that isn’t why I’m writing this.

I’m writing to remind me, and everyone else, that we all have these mindset-reality gaps in our perception of self. And when we work to minimize those gaps we become better in our relationships and how we present ourselves in our world.

We become
Better parents.
Better friends.
Better peers and colleagues,
Better teammates.
Better leaders.
Better followers.

Just better people.

And if we listen to the people around us we can learn a lot about the difference between our mindset and reality. That can help minimize the possibility of surprises in the future.

There are a lot of places where I’m not presenting the values I want.
Self-awareness and self-improvement work isn’t easy. But it is so worthwhile.

Back to work.
Thanks for tuning in.
See you next time


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